I'm pregnant.
Okay, there-- I said it. I'm still very early along, but I'm already noticing that my pants are getting a little tighter and for sake of preventing people from wondering if I'm just gaining weight I thought I would make an early announcement. Actually, we've known for a couple weeks, but I wasn't in the right frame of mind to tell people about it until now. To be honest, it was kind of a shock. We're thrilled to have another little person join our family, but the timing of everything isn't exactly like we would have planned.
Here is the story: David and I have both felt prompted that it was nearing time to have another baby, but since I knew exactly what I would be getting into I was terrified. But, I was slowly coming around and was taking steps for it to be possible. The first thing I did was look into health insurance policies that have maternity coverage. (Our current insurance does not). We decided on a provider and sent in our application, but could not be immediately approved since I hadn't had my period in January. (I'm totally irregular, so that didn't concern me.) The insurance agent told me that I would have to go get a blood pregnancy test before they could approve me and I didn't think twice about it. I would show them I wasn't pregnant! The only "problem" is-- I was. When I called the next day to get the results and the nurse told me the test was positive I immediately burst into tears. Like I mentioned before, I was terrified of getting pregnant and was very diligent in preventing it from happening. I could not (and still can't) understand why the Lord would send us a baby before we were financially and emotionally prepared. Now, we have no maternity coverage and I'm having to face all of my anxieties while I'm a hormonal mess.
But, the one thing I know is that the Lord does want us to have this baby at this time, and I am having to trust in His infinate wisdom. I've realized that it is utterly impossible for me to wrap my brain around it logically because the timing does not make sense, but I know that the Lord has a plan for each of us and that if we trust in His plan everything will ultimately work out for our good. It's still hard. There are a lot of obstacles that keep making things difficult, but I am learning to truly walk by faith.
I am also grateful. I know that there are millions of women who long to conceive and bear children but are unable to for various reasons, and my heart goes out to them. We each have our own challenges, and I recognize the wonderful blessing it is to be able to have a baby. I am trying not to take it for granted.
So, that's our story. Or the first part of it at least. I'm sure it will be an unfolding saga and will definitely have a happy ending.
29 comments:
congratulations! I secretly wondered if you were expecting when you told us how well Audra took care of you the other day. The timing of our children hasn't been ideal either, but I guess the Lords knows what we can handle. Good luck with the onfolding saga!
We're so happy for you. You are up for the challenge, Jess. You are a remarkable woman and I know you'll get through this. :) I love you!!
P.S. I can't believe you're going to have five kids! I still think of you as my college-age sister! :)
Browsing your wonderful blog...
I must comment.
Just like a previous commenter said, the Lord knows what we can handle. Martin and I have learned over the years that the planning of our children is NOT in our hands, it's in HIS. We know this now after some loss and heartache, learning the hard way.
You seem like an amazing mother. I have no doubt that all will work out as it is supposed to. You came from two terrific parents who have taught you well.
Hang in there. I hope the insurance factor works itself out...somehow!! That can be scary. Good luck, dear.
Thanks for sharing your blog with the world. I hope you don't mind my keeping tabs on you and your sweet family.
Rachel H.
Jess
CONGRATS! I really am so excited and happy for you! You are such a wonderful mother and you will do great!! Maybe it will be a boy... ;)?? But all in all, I am sorry about the timing. But yes, the Lord does have a plan and you will survive! I wish I were there to help you out! But I truly believe you will do awesome!! Love you tons and tell everyone CONGRATS!!
Congratulations Jessi and David!! What a privledge it is to be a mommy and daddy. I'm sure your girls are elated!! Keep us posted on how things go. Good luck.
Congrats Jessi! I hope you are feeling okay. I know all about the whole timing thing. Jasmine was one of those that needed to come and I wasn't ready,but oh how glad I am that I was faithful in getting her here.
Oh yeah, one more thing. I honestly thought you were pregnant when you wrote that blog about napping at Audra's.
I have to admit that I too was wondering if you were pregnant with all the 'not feeling well' and 'napping' and 'getting out' posts....Congratulations! Exciting, but nerve wrecking with the whole insurance thing, but still a blessing! I hope it is an easy nine months for you.
I can tell I've never been pregnant, because I totally did not pick up on all the clues like these other ladies did! :)
Even though I'm on the other end of the fertility spectrum, I think we've learned the same thing: the Lord definitely has a plan for our families, and He is in charge!
Congrats, Jessi! You're a great mother and you'll be blessed with this baby.
(BTW, if you get the chance, you might enjoy Linda Eyre's book, A Joyful Mother of Children. She tells of how she found out about their fifth child coming, when they were mission presidents, and how she just cried and cried about it, but how it turned out he was an extra special blessing to them. It's a neat story.)
I love your comment that this story will have a happy ending. Because it will. Love you!
Like many of the other ladies I had thoughts that maybe you were expecting too! Congratulations and let me know if I can help you out in any way. If your girls would stay...I would love to have them come play! You didn't say when this baby is due to arrive? Oh, and I like to be in control but, my babies never came when I planned or how I planned it...but, it was all fine in the end. Funny how the Lord works isn't it?!!!
I am so excited to have a little buddy! We are going to have a great time!
Love, Josh
Congratulations! Good luck with the insurance thing-- you're right, the Lord will provide. Right now it's doubly hard because you don't feel good! Things will work out.
I'm calling you right now! Wahoo! It will all work out.
It looks from the comments as if you have tons of support. I'm so excited that you are having another baby and so worried that it will be an anxious one for you. I don't have any words of enlightenment, at least nothing that will take all the hard challenges away. But yesterday they were talking in Relief Society about life and how all our trials would be made up to us after the ressurection - so this life and its challenges can have no hold on us as we cling to the Lord. That doesn't always bring me the comfort and certainty that I wish it did. But. . . it is the best that I have.
When I discovered I was pregnant with Sydney we had wanted another baby, but I had been fainting and having seizures so we were trying to get that worked out. I had a terrible episode that put me in the ER and I couldn't do any tests because I was in the middle of my cycle and couldn't verify that I wasn't pregnant (didn't think I was) so we waited two weeks until I could. That morning came, I did my blood test as a technicality before my long awaited MRI. Then I suited up in my gown and headed to the MRI room. A nurse came running at me from across the patient waiting room, yelling to stop my MRI because I was pregnant. I was devastated. How would a I survive a pregnancy with seizures, what would happen to the baby, when would I ever know what was wrong with me, I wasn't ready yet. I never did get many answers to those questions, but Sydney being a part of our lives made everything else slip away. Hopefully that will be the same for you. And after all, money is a blessing to help us in our lives, pay your fast offerings faithfully and pray the Lord will give you what you need this time around. Plus, this could be your greatest pregnancy yet because you will be so motivated to eat and exercize right!
Congrats Jessi!! I'm sorry the timing isn't that great, but things will get better! You are an amazing woman who can handle anything! Good luck!!
congratulations!
Yeah!!!! Congratulations! I wondered, too, when you said you weren't feeling well. This will be a great blessing. I just know it!
yeah!! Congrats Jess!!!! How exciting!! 5 is great!!!
Wow, congratulations! I'm happy for you! It will all work out the way the Lord intended it to : ) I don't know if this company is any good or would help you out in any way but check it out: www.maternitycard.com. Maybe it can help a little bit with the maternity expenses. I don't know anyone that's every used it but it couldn't hurt to look into it.
Jessi
Congrats! I was impressed as you expressed your anxiety and then your trust. The Lord needs strong daughters, and you are the banner carrier!
About having things planned - When we had Rach we thought we had everything in place, insurance, good jobs, etc. Then I had a C-section, R had bad jaundice and we both spent a week in the hospital. Then we found out that our insurance had gone bankrupt and would make no payments. We were living in Missouri at the time. It was scary. Things worked out. Tell your Dr. you will be paying out of pocket, a lot of times they will give you a 20 -30% discount (we carry our own insurance too, and have had 3 babies without maternity coverage)
We are so happy for your family! Thanks for sharing.
Jessi-
I found your blog from Danielle's. It's Julee (Cordon) Hartvigson. Congrats on another little one. It's been years since I've seen you. We have a blog also: hartvigsonfamily.blogspot.com.
Great to read about your family.
Love ya!
Congratulations! I can totally relate to not being in the right frame of mind. With one of mine. I knew it was the right time but it took me the full 9 months to come around. I did not feel like I was ready. But I'm glad now everything happened when it did. I'm sorry about the insurance thing. I'm sure it will all work out.
Wow! I just figured you had the flu like we did for so long around here! Very exciting...my girls have been asking me to get pregnant lately. I considered it for a moment or two but then someone throws a fit and I go, "No, we're good." :) So happy for you, though. You've mentioned that pregnancy is hard on you, so as your VT, I'd like to offer my services in any way I can. Call for ANYTHING!!
YAY FOR YOU GUYS! Except about the dumb insurance part. That's wonderful to hear there will be 7 of you running around.
What amazing support you have out in the cyber world. Let me add mine. Understanding God has a plan for us gives great peace when it seems impossible to be found. Your perspective is amazing. We can't wait to meet your new little one.
I knew it!!!! Congrats!!
Hi Jessi-
Crystal just called me w/your good news! We had our last two without maternity coverage. We just finished paying off Julia and think we'll keep her. She was worth it. Congratulations to you!!! Think BLUE!
Love, Dale
CONGRATULATIONS!!! I've been a slacker about reading and posting, so I just now read this. I'm thrilled for you guys, but can see why you are stressed. Like you said, though, it will all work out somehow. The Lord is mindful of you dear Jessie.
I miss you!
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