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Mom of five lovely daughters, wife of one dashing man. Born in Utah, grew up in Oregon, live in Georgia.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Making peace

I generally have a pretty healthy self-image. But for the past little while I have been struggling with feelings of doubt and discouragement. It all started with the idea that I really should lose a few pounds and has ended in a tailspin of negative thought. Fat, ugly, stupid, boring, incapable, and worthless are only a few of the horrid adjectives that have repeatedly entered my mind as I try to work my way through the day. As a result I've been snippy with David, impatient with my children, and brutal to myself. I've felt like nothing I can do is good enough.

Today, while I was in the attic putting our picnic basket away I was inspired to find the book "Making Peace with the Image in the Mirror" by Steven Hawks. On the inside cover I've taped this message: "Satan wants us to believe that we're not good enough, that there's something wrong with us, that we are alone and there is no hope. All these messages are LIES. Satan encourages us to have these feelings so we lose sight of who we are and are then less able to feel Christ's love and spread His light and love with others. If he can dupe us into believing we are worthless we won't be fully able to carry out the missions that Heavenly Father has for us because of our distorted view of ourselves. Sheri Dew said, 'Clearly, Satan wants us to see ourselves as the world sees us, not as the Lord sees us, because the world's mirror... distorts and minimizes us. Satan tells us we're not good enough. Not smart enough. Not thin enough. Not clever enough. Not anything enough. And that is a big, fat, devilish lie' (No Doubt About It, 46). So, the next time you begin to feel this way you can know it is from Satan and say, 'Get thee hence, Satan, ye father of lies! I'll have nothing of you!'"

And the final paragraph of the introduction to the book says, "The contest with the mirror is not the most worthy cause to which we can devote our strength. In order to free our attention for the truly important battles, it is time to make peace with the image in the mirror."

I needed to read those messages today. And even though my battle with self-doubt and negativity will not be won overnight, I am beginning to feel optimistic again. I'm ready to make peace.

12 comments:

Erin said...

I hate days like that! I have a ton of days where I just feel unattractive and worthless. Right now I think I am going through an ugly phase. Is that possible as an adult? lol I think so highly of you and I hope tomorrow is better

Stacey said...

I can totally relate with you. Thanks for the reminder as I really needed it this morning. I especially get discouraged when members of my own extended family aren't happy with themselves and try to bring down others...it makes me sad. They don't even realize it. At the same time of being sad I also know that they can easily drag me into feeling down about myself. It is hard line to walk in trying to help them and not loose myself.

You are a great person, you look great...I would never have known you were struggling with such things and you are being way too hard on yourself:)

Audra said...

I sure wish I could win that battle and be done with it forever. I am tired of battling those thoughts. Thanks for the extra help today!

BTW, what did you end up doing with your free time?!

Sweetest Of All said...

Thanks Jess. I needed that!

Michelle Pyne said...

I'm so glad you found that book! I'm so glad you know all those messages were lies. You are a person of infinite worth. You have wonderful talents, and you use them to help, lift and benefit others. Quit measuring yourself with the world's yardstick. Seek the Savior's peace and comfort through the Holy Ghost. There's nothing like the power of the Spirit to melt Satan's lies into the nothingness they are.

Michelle said...

THank you so much for that,Jessi! I needed to hear that. I am struggling with that same issue right now. Thank you, thank you!

Kate said...

Hey girl,
thanks so much for the sweet comment you made on my blog. I really needed to hear that! Thanks also for this post. I need to remember this more often. I know this is true, but it's hard to remember that it's Satan putting negative thoughts in our heads! You are so beautiful, so it's almost nice to know that even someone like you has those thoughts!! I'm sure I'll be calling you to get some moral support in the future with 3 extrogen filled angels!

Audra said...

So I've been thinking more about this. It has given me hope. Because if you, who is gorgeous and accomplishes so so so much in a day battles those thoughts, then maybe I am doing ok also. We just have a hard time seeing things as they really are.

I've also thought about how everyone who knows you thinks you are stunning and incredibly capable and can tell you that, but it is you, in the end, who needs to know it for yourself. In other words, all the compliments in the world won't cure this trial. You have to come to know for yourself how much you do and how beautiful you are. Not easy.

Jen said...

Loved this post. It has been on my mind for some days now.

rachel said...

This is such a hard one for so many women. Thanks for the post. We ALL needed to hear that.
My two oldest are already starting to struggle with body image and it breaks my heart because they're beautiful and perfect in my eyes.

Elaine said...

Amen, to everything.. Always listen to your Smart Sister and Mother.

Abbi said...

It gets exhausting battling those thoughts all the time when they never seem to stop. A while back it was getting so bad for me that I started praying for Heavenly Father to help me see my talents and to help me see the good I could do and was doing. That seemed to help, but I haven't been doing it lately. Maybe I should start again. :) I hope it's gotten better for you in the last week! I love you and can't wait to see you soon!!!