My sister, Abbi, just posted about how much she loves her new Relief Society. I agree with everything she said, but I'm not feeling the love right now. I just got home from the first quarterly enrichment meeting I've been in charge of and am feeling so discouraged. Only 20 people came when we could (should) have had at least double that. All night I've been trying to think about what we could have done better to motivate people to come and I honestly feel like we did everything in our power to make it a successful night. But for whatever reasons, the ladies chose not to come. We've got some great sisters in our ward, but as a whole I think their lives are rather self-centered. They are "busy" and if activities or programs don't fit their schedules they don't come. (Of course there are ladies that do reach outside themselves and do support activities that are not convenient, but they seem to be more the exception than the rule in our ward). The frustrating thing is I feel powerless as a leader to do anything to change that. I help plan activities that give the sisters the opportunity to get to know each other, to learn, and to develop their testimonies. I make sure we communicate and advertise so everyone knows what's going on, but if they don't come I can't do much to help them. And when there is a poor turn-out everyone feels it. Our activity tonight was awesome except for the fact a lot of people were missing. And they were missed!!! The energy level was low and I don't think the sisters there enjoyed it as much as they would have if more people came. The classes were great, the food was great, the decorations were great, but the turn-our was not great.
So, help me out. Those of you who have great camaraderie in your Relief Society, tell me your secrets!
About Me
- Jessi
- Mom of five lovely daughters, wife of one dashing man. Born in Utah, grew up in Oregon, live in Georgia.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Lost that lovin' feeling
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11 comments:
I totally understand your frustration. I wonder if a lot of it had to do with the first week of school. I've been so wrapped up in a new schedule that I haven't done anything else. I know that doesn't make it okay, but I also know that it's not because you are not fabulous and not doing a fabulous job.
Hi Jessi. I'm the 2nd counselor in the RS in our ward and I was the Enrichment Leader before this calling - and I've found that usually in the summertime (or beginning of school in your case) is the worst turnout time for Enrichment. So it's nothing you did or didn't do. Don't give up! I know it's frustrating when you plan great classes, fabulous food, advertise like crazy, etc. and people don't come. I've learned to make the summer time quarterly Enrichment meetings sweet and SIMPLE and we gear up bigger and better stuff for the our Enrichment meetings in March (the RS birthday party) and early November (pre Christmas, not too busy time yet). Those are just things I've observed. Keep me posted on things you're doing. We've had some fun ones and I'd be happy to send you some ideas. :)
Jessi, I've been there, too. Enrichment counselor was one of my hardest, but really cool in other ways, callings.
I don't have any advice--sometimes it just seemed more like luck whether people showed up.
Reminds me of our year in Wells Hall when we tried to get people to our activities. You were always so great and supportive. Remember that hike to the Y? I think it was basically you and your roommates, me, and a couple other girls, if that!
Carry on! You're awesome!
You have to NOT take it personally. There is only so much you can do but in the end, it is the sister's choice. I tried to always tell myself. It was they who missed something special. I have been on all ends of this issue. A leader who killed myself to make things significant and also a sister who just couldn't make myself participate for a number of reasons. I would tell it how it is. In RS ask the sisters what could be done to increase participation, Try not to put them on a guilt trip but it doesn't hurt to express some disappointment in the turn out. You will have some wonderful events and some less than successful ones, sounds like you have done everything you can. Just keep doing what you can and LOVE the sisters trying to understand their individual challanges. We are each in different phases of committment.
One thing I found.. Involve as many sisters and possible with assignments for the evening, even if it's a small thing. Good Luck don't get discouraged.
I can totally relate, Jessi. I was the enrichment leader in my old Texas ward and I hated it!!! Of course, for us 20 people would have been a GREAT turnout! We usually ended up having 10 people there-- mostly the committee and a few faithful followers. It's a tough calling, and although people say don't take it personally, how can you not!? It's SOOOO much work to put together an enrichment night! I feel for you, but I don't have great advice because I'm still wondering what went wrong for me too. Hang in there...
I'm sorry, Jess, that's the worst when you put so much work into something and you don't feel like the people you worked for appreciate or enjoy it! But you can know that Heavenly Father appreciated it and enjoyed the fruits of your labors, so I think you should still feel really good about the night. You can't control what other people do, but you can control how you feel about the whole situation.
Sometimes I think a personal phone call to a few of them would be nice to let them know that they were missed. And don't take it personally like Elaine said. Everyone is so busy and sometimes there are other circumstances that you aren't aware of. Good luck! I'm sure you did an awesome job.
Jessi you are so awesome. You hold yourself to such a high standard it is easy to see why the Lord wants you in this calling. It is frustrating situations like this one I think that bring people like you closer to the Lord as you work with him to touch the hearts of the sisters in your ward. One thing I like about you is that you are great to be around. The spirit you carry with you is infectious, it won't be long before you've infected so many sisters that they will come out in herds every month to get their spiritual fix. Hang in there, you are doing a better job than you are giving yourself credit for.
I use to rarely attend Enrichment until I was asked by a member of the stake presidency during a temple recommend interview if I attended all my meetings, including Enrichment. Of course, he just tacked that ending on himself, but I was shocked that Enrichment was considered that important...after that, I've always made an effort. I think many people just consider Enrichment to be extra or optional, and not important compared to other church meetings.
I have been thinking about what you said and I have a few comments: I would have considered the attendance at your activity wildly successful given that it was during the first week of school and the end of the summer. My experience is that it is extremely hard for mothers to attend meetings that week given all the changes that school brings. Your planning and preparation were impeccable. I don't think you could have improved on the evening at all. Unfortunately you don't have a way to measure the benefit the evening was to those who attended, but my guess is that there were many who appreciated and benefitted greatly from attending. If you continue to provide meetings that are carried out like that one, the cumulative effect will be that many women come and participate. So instead of considering the evening a failure, consider it very successful! Heavenly Father will bless your efforts in ways you couldn't imagine!
hey jessi - i totally know what you are feeling. in the same TX ward as Melissa, i served as head of E. committee, as well as functioning as the second counselor when there wasn't one for a couple months. it is an incredibly demanding calling and one that seldom gets recognized for all the work that gets poured into it on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis.
i remember one activity inparticular - a ward art exhibit - that a very small committee and i put hundreds of collaborative hours into, to have a fraction of the RS membership show up to and only a handful ever say anything in appreciation. it was heartbreaking - not only because we knew that we had put together an incredible evening, but also because we had a testimony of the importance of attending EN - i love what Tara said above - EN is considered part of our meetings because the Lord knows we need it - even if it is a very casual social, we - as women - need to be there - if not for ourselves, for others.
the only thought that got me through low attendance was that all the effort, time and thought that i (and the members of the committee, too) put into each activity, it meant something to those that DID come and it meant something to THE LORD. as with many other thankless callings, the Lord knows the intent of your heart, even if no one shows up.
best of luck - keep your chin up and know that you are being appreciated.
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