Yesterday at McKenna's softball practice there was a Mom who kept pointing out her daughters pants (which were a couple inches too short) and repeatedly told everyone how embarassed she was that her daughter wore those pants. I didn't get what the big deal was. As part of her apologies for her daughters misguided fashion sense the mom explained that her daughter was very picky about her clothes and did not like things that were too long. Obviously, the little girl picked out the pants she was comfortable in, and I think the mom (for her daughter's sake) could have let it go. We all feel judged by our children's appearances because we assume that everyone is as critical as we are. Our kids are a reflection of US, and we don't want to look bad. But I have learned (and am continuing to learn) that we need to teach our kids that their value is not found in how cute they or their clothes are, and that often involves letting them feel like you accept them no matter what they are wearing. Sometimes their wardrobe selections need some gentle modifying (like when your daughter wants to wear her bathing suit to church), but I believe that in most cases if our kids feel comfortable with what they are wearing we need to support them in their choices (as painful as that might sometimes be). I remember one Sunday our bishop's rather strong-willed daughter walked into church with every clip they owned in her hair. You could tell by the look on her face that she felt like she looked GOOD. Now, that may not be appropriate every Sunday, but at that moment our bishop's wife determined it was more important for her daughter to feel accepted rather than judged. It is important to try and protect our kids from ridicule (by the end of church the little girl had removed most of the hair accessories because some other kids had made fun of her), but we need to determine if our motives for vetoing certain outfits are for their sake or for our own. Raising daughters is scary territory, but I strongly believe that if they feel like they are loved no matter what by their parents, they will be able to handle the barrage of insults and innuendo they will eventually have to face. What do you think?
About Me
- Jessi
- Mom of five lovely daughters, wife of one dashing man. Born in Utah, grew up in Oregon, live in Georgia.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
No matter what
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6 comments:
It's not just with girls. Jordan is worried sometimes that kids will make fun of him if he wears this or that. It is so important to teach that their worth does not come from their clothes! Remember dad's talk on parenting? He said something to the effect of be firm on principles and lenient on preferences. I have always remembered that.
Couldn't have said it better myself!!! That truth should be taught to every parent and then they should teach it to every child. Isn't it wonderful that we have and understand celestial principles?? They are priceless!
So True! There have been quite a few times when BRayden will say, "Well, the kids will laugh at me!" I just say, "Oh no they won't and if they do, you don't want to be friends with kids like that anyways." Gee, this world is becoming so harsh. It is quite sad! Thanks for pointing that out! Great blog!! :)
You have caught the vision of this principle so well! I wish everyone could understand and apply it as well as you have! And I'm sure your girls will grow to really appreciate how you have accepted them and taught them their worth. A mother's love is one of the most priceless things a person can have!!
Amen...I'm with you 100%. BTW, do you remember when Amelia did the exact same thing with all of her clippies? Too funny.
Jessi... you are my mentor! I hope I'm not putting too much pressure on you (o: But just about everything you say about raising girls is right on my tracks and a few years ahead of me ...I appreciate your insight. I have a post that I'm contemplating (they will be backlogged for a while with a new baby!) about this very thing/modesty... to come.
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