Much better

THIS pattern worked better. Now, I'm ready for London and all my photo-ops! :)

Ummmmm....No

We are anticipating chilly weather in London, so I thought it would be fun to make a new hat to keep me warm. I used THIS pattern with high hopes. But unfortunately the finished product isn't quite right. (Go ahead and laugh. That's why I'm posting this picture!) I look like either the Butcher, the Baker, or the Candlestick maker.

I'll be starting over using a different pattern. Wish me luck!

(And if anyone has a favorite hat pattern that uses bulky yarn, send it my way!)

Do you think I have my hands full with this one?

Yeah. I do.

Total validation

Like most parents, I often second guess myself. Am I doing a good job as a mother? Yes? No? Maybe?

Well, a couple days ago McKenna wrote a little essay that made my heart sing. Hopefully she won't mind my sharing it.

Her essay is titled "Why my Mom and Dad are the Best."

She wrote:

I know that my mom is the best because she loves me and cares for me. She cares about the smallest and biggest things that happen to me. Like, she cares if I am growing or shrinking. She also wants to help me if I am crying or hungry. When I am uncomfortable, she tries to make me comfortable by telling me she loves me or by singing to me.

My dad is the greatest dad in the whole universe because he wants to get me involved with the world. He also wants me to feel good about myself. He even helps me play sports and do activities. My dad also listens to me when I tell him about my troubles in school or with my friends. He helps me with math because it is not my best subject.

So my mom and dad cherish me and want me to be loved, so I love them, just as much as they love me!

I'm not a perfect Mom. (I'm sure that if you ask McKenna on another day she'd be happy to tell you all the things I do wrong.) But I also must be doing some things right. I do love my kids. Oh, how I love them!!! It makes me happy to know they feel that love and that they know I'm doing my very best as their mother.

I'm also thankful I have David as my partner. He compensates for a lot of my shortcomings and is such a good dad. He really IS the best.

Audra's quilt

I delivered Audra's quilt to her on Saturday, so now it's safe to reveal the finished product. It was super-fun to make. And easy. I followed the instructions HERE. I could get used to making quilts out of pre-cut fabric! :)

(Oh, and FYI: the fabric I used was the Three Sisters "Glace" collection. Audra picked it out. She has really good taste.)

Sugar detox

I'm realizing I may have a problem with sugar. I LOVE it. I CRAVE it. But it doesn't treat me well in return. The other day I crashed after eating a few too many caramels and Bavarian mints. (Crashed as in I fell asleep and then was completely incapable of getting myself out of bed.) I've been paying attention lately and I'm realizing that whenever I eat sugary sweets it puts me in kind of a fog that prevents me from functioning as I should. So, I'm considering giving up sugar for a while in order to get it out of my system. I know that I'll be healthier. I'm hoping that my hormones will even out a little, that the puffiness and inflammation in my skin will decrease, and that ultimately I'll have more energy. But I'm scared. I'm worried I don't have the self-control necessary to make it through the hard cravings. And I'm scared of missing out on those little moments of pleasure that sugary treats bring. No cup of hot cocoa? No cookies? No ice cream? Yikes.

But I'm trying to be committed. So, I need your help. Has anyone successfully given up sugar? What benefits did you find? What obstacles did you encounter? How did you overcome them? Is giving up sugar really possible?! :)

More Snow

On Friday we got another good snow storm. This time instead of just playing in our yard, we bundled up and met Audra and her boys at a golf course next to David's parents' house and did some real sledding. (Real at least by Georgia standards.)

Tanner made us all cold just looking at him. But, he insisted he was warm sledding in his shorts, t-shirt and shoes without socks.

If all snow days were like this, I wouldn't mind the snow quite so much.

(Emily decided she didn't want to sled. Instead, she played the Wii at her grandparents' house.)

Valentines Tradition

David and I went out Saturday night to celebrate Valentines Day. And in keeping with tradition we went to Subway. Our Subway tradition started as newlyweds. Our first Valentines Day was spent in Taiwan. I was pregnant and craved some kind of American food. Thankfully there was a Subway just down the road from where we were staying. It was heaven! (Except they had green tomatoes instead of red ones.) As the years passed, it seemed like we usually gravitated back to Subway. Not quite a conscious decision, but it just worked out that way. So now it's our go-to Valentines date. So, so romantic! :)

What did you do to celebrate Valentines Day?

Marriage: dependance & independance

A couple weeks ago I saw a show on Oprah that really got me thinking. The show was about how the institution of marriage is changing around the world. Oprah said that there has been a trend towards "wifeless marriage"--meaning a marriage where no one wants to take care of the responsibilities traditionally assumed by the wife. Because both the man and the woman work outside the home they fill the same role and no one is there to be the "wife." Oprah also said that because women make their own money they are sometimes less inclined to marry because they don't need a husband to take care of them, and that marriage and being a "wife" lessen a woman's independence. I found that idea baffling.

First, I didn't marry David because I wanted someone to take care of me. I married him because I loved him and wanted to be with him for ever and ever. I wanted him to be my family, and I wanted to start a family with him.

Second, I do not feel in any way less independent or less important because I am a "wife." I don't make any money. I am completely dependant on my husband's income. But that does not diminish my contribution to our family. Yes, I am dependant on David. But he is equally dependant on me. He makes the money and I take care of everything else so he can make the money. It's pretty equal. I'd be in trouble without him; and he'd be in trouble without me. We work together and rely on each other. Isn't that what a marriage partnership is about? I'm totally confused by the idea that women have to make money of their own in order to maintain their independence. It's ridiculous.

Third: My job as a wife and homemaker is just as important, and just as fulfilling, as David's job as a general contractor, even though I don't make any money. I work hard at my job. I work long hours. I do a variety of tasks. I try to excel. And my family benefits just as much from my work as David's clients benefit from his work. My contribution is just as important as his paycheck.

Fourth: I did not sacrifice any more becoming David's wife than he sacrificed becoming my husband. We both gave up some of our "freedom" when we got married. Neither operates completely independent from the other-- but instead of being confining, our dependence is uplifting and supportive. We are a partnership where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

I am definitely not Destiny's Child's version of an "Independent Woman." I have an old-fashioned view of marriage and family roles. I love being a wife, mother, and homemaker. No other job could ever be as satisfying. And even though I am "dependent," I am ultimately able to be even more independent because of my marriage to David. His love, support, and partnership make me even more than who I could be on my own.

Valentines Goodies

Since we don't have school tomorrow all my girls have their school Valentines Day parties today. In honor of the occasion Summer wanted "heart hair." I did my best to oblige.

For their teachers we made these cute little goodie bags. I used THIS template and then filled them with a few pieces of homemade caramel and bavarian mints.

I used Jen's caramel recipe. (So, so good. They are soft and yummy!!!) And here is the recipe for the Bavarian Mints. They're good, too. (But according to my kids, not as good as the caramel.)

BAVARIAN MINTS

2 T. butter
1 square (1 oz.) unsweetened chocolate
1 pound milk chocolate
1 (14 oz.) can sweetened condensed milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. peppermint extract

In top of double boiler melt butter; add milk chocolate, unsweetend chocolate, and sweetened condensed milk. Stir until smooth and creamy. Turn off heat. Add vanilla, peppermint. Pour into buttered 8-inch square pan. Cool. Cut into one inch squares.

Also one more idea: instead of buying store-bought cards for my girls to hand out to their friends I let them each design their own using a Valentines Day coloring page. This is Lydia's. I thought it turned out so cute.

Not happy

On the way home from taking Summer to school this morning I was in a car accident. I was stopped, waiting for a car in front of me to turn left, when I was hit from behind. Thankfully both Chloe and I were fine. My car was banged up a little and will need to be repaired, but for now it's still driveable. I just can't open the back hatch. We're counting our blessings because it could have been worse. But I'm not happy about it. Getting in a car accident stinks.

Happy

See this watch? It makes me happy. Yesterday it was left on my doorstep by a friend. She had noticed that I wore a yellow shirt to church and said in her note: "I noticed your outfit on Sunday and knew you needed this. Thanks for all you do in primary." Now, how nice is that?! What she didn't know (but maybe could have guessed) is that yellow is one of my favorite colors. Most of the walls in my house are yellow, these yellow earrings are some of my favorites, and I am looking for a cute yellow umbrella to take with me to London. (Did you know I get to go to London? I DO!!) So all that combines to make this a very happy watch. And me a very happy girl.

Thou shalt not covet

All of the ten commandments are pretty strait forward. There is not much interpretation to "thou shalt not kill." But we know that when Christ came, He taught a higher law. "Thou shalt not kill" prompted teachings about avoiding anger and judgment.

It's my feeling that the higher law for "thou shalt not covet" is "thou shalt not compare." Coveting implies seeing something and desiring it so much that you'd do almost anything to get it. I doubt many of us go to that extreme. But, I do look upon someone's possessions, qualities, or situation and compare them to my own-- which comparison leads to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, or pride. And could ultimately lead to covetousness.

A couple weekends ago I was showing my sisters a blog of a lady I've been comparing myself too. I don't know her personally, but via her blog she seems practically perfect. She's beautiful, talented, wealthy, spiritual, accomplished, skinny, and strong. She has trials in her life, but she seems to handle them with faith and determination. And even when she admits her personal short-comings it makes her seem even more perfect because it shows that she's humble. In showing my sisters the blog they didn't seem quite as impressed as I was. And finally Abbi said, "I've come to the conclusion that someone will always be prettier than me. And more talented. And more spiritual. And more popular. And have a better blog...." At first we laughed, but then I realized the truth in Abbi's comment. There will ALWAYS be someone better. So unless I am a machinists and want to continually torment myself with messages of "you're not good enough..." I think it's in my best interest to stop comparing myself to others. Not easy. But it is a higher law I hope to strive for.

And to help buoy up my commitment I re-read Elder Jeffery R. Holland's conference address, "The Other Prodigal." In it he reminds us that "No one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another." He says, "I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all." And later he says, "All are privileged, the one like unto the other. Walk peacefully. Walk confidently. Walk without fear and without envy. Be reassured of Heavenly Father’s abundance to you always. As we do this, we can help others, calling down blessings on them even as they make supplication for us. We can cheer every talent and ability, wherever it is bestowed, thus making life here more nearly what it will be like in heaven."

Even though God does not bless us all in the same ways, when we seek His will and strive to follow His path, He gives us exactly what we need. In comparing myself to others I'm essentially saying, "Lord, what you've given me is not right. See that person over there? I want you to do it like that." But what folly that would be! I would miss out on the abundance that God has given me. And the opportunities that are uniquely mine.

New favorite thing

I love to read. But I have recently discovered something that I might enjoy even more..... having my kids read to me. It's so fun to cuddle into bed after school or to sit on the couch and knit while one of my girls reads to me. McKenna and Lydia don't really like to read, so reading with them has always been a little bit stressful. But Emily is definitely a motivated reader, and now she's at an age where we have similar taste in books. "Go Dog Go" is fun, but it's not quite as good as reading something with a real plot. :) Yesterday she finished reading "Milly-Molly-Mandy Stories" by Joyce Lankester Brisley. It was so fun to experience that world with Emily and to see her living the stories with me. And hopefully the reading fire will spread to my other girls. I can't imagine going through life without the means of escaping into a good book. And it's even better when you're able to escape with someone dear.

Going to the dentist isn't fun

Today a few of my girls had to go get some dental work done. And they came home feeling pretty miserable. So, I let them stay home from school. They have spent the afternoon like this. Poor kids. I can feel their pain.

Sneak Peek

Dear Audra,

Here is a sneak peek of your quilt. I'm quilting it today and hope to have it finished for you as soon as possible!

Love, Jessi

Love Notes

Last night for our Family Home Evening activity we wrote each other little notes and then taped them to our bedroom doors. The girls were so excited to show everyone the notes they wrote; and they were tickled reading the nice things everyone said about them. Here are some of the notes:

"Dear Emily, Thank you for volunteering in everything that nobody wants to do! You always make people happy. Love, McKenna"

"Chloe, every time I see you, it makes me want to smile. (except when you're crying, which makes me want to cry also. I love you!" -Daddy

"Dear Summer, I think you are a talented girl, but a bit sassy. I still love you. -Lydia"

"Dear Mom: Thank you for taking care of my for my whole life! I am glad you are not Ms. Hanigan. Love, McKenna"

"Dear daddy, I think you are a graet dad and I love the shapes that you make our pancakes. Love, Emily."

I think we'll continue adding notes to the doors through Valentines Day. I'd love to maintain the awesome feeling that was in our home last night!

Vacuum

From my experience there are two kinds of children in this world: those who run away from the vacuum and those who run towards it.

Chloe is among the latter group. It always startles her at first, but then it becomes a big game to follow me around while I vacuum.

It cracks me up because I would have guessed that she'd be a big scaredy-cat like some of her other sisters. :)

Just for me

Have you ever been to a church meeting where it felt like the speakers had written their talks specifically for YOU? I had that experience yesterday at our stake conference. It was a broadcast from Salt Lake, and Elder Larry W. Gibbons gave a talk that had me in tears from the very beginning.

Like many people, I've felt weighed down lately. The world is going through some tough times right now and it's been hard for me to keep everything in perspective, especially when things seem to be going wrong in my own life. (Little things, like our dishwasher breaking, needing new tires, having to repair our HVAC system, and our refrigerator leaking combined with the daily frustrations of trying to raise a family and keep a home.) Several times a day I've felt a paralyzing panic that everything is falling apart and I don't have the power to make things right. I've fought to subdue these feelings, but fear and frustration have made their home just under the surface.

These were the feelings I brought with me to stake conference. So, when Elder Gibbons began speaking about how the Lord has taught us to have FAITH, not fear, my spirit was touched. His entire address was about how to "be not afraid; only believe." While he spoke I frantically tried to take notes so I didn't miss anything. He outlined twelve points that will help us to have faith in uncertain times. I'm sharing them because I know that I'm not the only one struggling.

1. Understand that trials and difficulties are necessary for our progress and development. They are not necessarily a sign that the Lord is displeased. Trials help us to build our faith and to rely on the Lord. "Faith, to be faith, must go into the unknown." (Elder Boyd K. Packer)

2. "Lift up thine eyes." When things get hard, rely on the Atonement to receive strength. "...for in his strength I can do all things."

3. Live the commandments diligently. There is power and security in living the commandments. (People think that money brings security, but true security is found in living the commandments.)

4. Remember you are not alone. "I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and my angels round about you to bear you up."
"God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges we face." (Jeffrey R. Holland)

5. Remember you are in good company if opposition or persecution come even when you are striving to do right. Exercise self-control. Remember the Savior and ALL that he endured.

6. "Shoot the rapids." (Like making it through the rapids on a raging river, coming through a trial builds faith and confidence.)

7. Be patient when answers come slowly. Answers usually come when we begin to act, not when we are on our knees. "Fill up. Move on. Pray again."

8. God has already armed you for the trials ahead. "If we are living worthy he will not let us go very far in the wrong direction without warning us."

9. Rely on priesthood. Those who are quickly willing to give priesthood blessings should also recognize their need to receive blessings.

10. Trust the Lord and "prove the Lord" by paying tithing.

11. When you are in the dark, expecting and needing the light-- turn it over to the Lord and be patient. "Is anything too hard for the Lord?"

12. Listen to our leaders
"Any believing Latter-day Saint is an optimist about what lies ahead for him or her, however difficult the present may be." (President Henry B. Eyring)

"I have seen enough ups and downs throughout my life to know that winter will surely give way to the warmth and hope of a new spring." (President Dieter F. Uchdorf)

"My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith." (President Thomas S. Monson)